हि-nglish Adult Jokes - Page 6


Pati Patni aur Naughty Humor
Husband: Arey, Ye Defective Condoms Sofe Pe Kyun Pade Hue Hain???
Wife: Kyaaa...!!!??? Kahan???
Wife goes to find them and comes back angrily saying: Agar Tumne Phir Kabhi Hamare Bachchon Ko "Defective Condoms" Bolna Nahin Chhoda Toh Mein Tumhari Jaan Le Lungi...

Ek Ladka Apni Girlfriend Ke Saath Sex Kar Raha Tha.
Ladka Achanak Bola: Jaanu, You Know... Mujhe AIDS Hai...
Girlfriend: KYA?
Ladka: Ghabrao Mat... Mein Mazaak Kar Raha Hun, Bas Tumhaari Tight Karni Thi...!!!

Kaun Si Biwi Sanskaro Wali Hoti Hai?
Pati Daru Pee Ke Ghar Aaye Aur Biwi Puchhe:
Ji Pehle Condom Lagaun Yae Khana!

Judge Hearing a divorce case.
Judge to Husband: Tumhe Divorce Kyun Chahiye?
Husband: Judge Saab, I am not satisfied with her on bed.
Judge to Wife: Aapko Is Baare Mein Kuch Kehna Hai???
Wife: Sare Mohalle Waale Khush Hain, Sabki Tassali Karwa Deti Hun, Bas Isi Harami Ke Nakhre Khatam Nahin Hote...

           

Male vs Female Minds
Ek Psychologist Ne Ladko Aur Ladkiyon Ke Dimag Mein Kya Chalta Hai Iske Baare Mein Detail Mein Research Ki Aur Ye Result Nikaala...

Female Brain:
10% - Jewellery
30% - Shopping
25% - Money
20% - Enjoyment
14% - Kitchen Care
1% - Deni Hai

Male Brain:
96% - Leni hai...
1% - Kaise Leni Hai...
1% - Kiski Leni Hai...
1% - Kab Leni hai...

           

Short but Hilarious
Friend 1: Kal Meri Girlfriend Ka Birthday Hai, Uske Haath Main Kya Gift Dun?
Friend 2: Apna De De!!!
Friend 1: Mazaak Mat Kar Yaar, Koi Badi Cheez Bata.
Friend 2: Toh Mera De De!!!

Bas Mein Bethi Ek Ladki Ki T-Shirt Pe Car Bani Hui Thi. Uske Saath Chota Bachha Baitha Use Dekh Raha Tha.
Ladki Bachche Ko Dekhte Hue Muskura Ke Boli: Car Chalani Hai Kya?
Bachcha: Nahi Car Toh Nahi Chalani, Par Agar Aap Ki Ijazat Ho Toh Horn Baja Loon?

Question: Which Is The Only Hindi Measurement Unit That Describes Time, Length, Weight, Heat, Light, Power, Noise Etc. Everything At Minimum Value?
Answer: Jhaant Barabar!!!

Question: Who Sang This Song?
Main Pal Do Pal Ka Shayar Hoon, Pal Do Pal Meri Jawani Hai, Pal Do Pal Meri Masti Hai, Pal Do Pal Kahani Hai.
Answer: An Erect Penis.

Tailor Ladki Ka Maap Lete Hue: Tumhaara Koi Boyfriend hai ?
Girl: Haan Ji Hai, Lekin Kyun ???
Tailor: Usse Bolna Thode Din Left Side Pe Zyaada Dhyaan De, Fitting Sahi Baithegi.

           

Some Quick Naughty Stuff
Wife: Jaanu, Aaj Sex Ho Jaye.
Husband: Aaj Nahi.
Wife: Kyun?
Husband: Aaj Condom Laana Bhul Gaya.
Wife: Teri Toh Roz Ki magaj Maari Hai... Lamination Karva Le!

Ek Husband Sex Ke Baad Wife Ki Wife Ki BRA Dete Hue: Yeh Lo Apne Doodh k Dhakkan...
Unsatisfied Wife, Gusse Se, Underwear Dete Hue: "Ye Lo Apne Murday ka Kafan..."

Suhaagrat Ki Raat Ko Dulha Apni Nayi Naveli Dulhan Se Puchhta Hai: Sach-Sach Bata Kabhi Kiya Hai Ki Nahi?
Dulhan: Nahi Jaanu, Kabhi Kiya Nahi, Bas Hamesha Karwaya Hai.

Height of Job satisfaction.
Stud gets a job in girls hostel...
After 2 months the owner asked: Arey Bhai, Tum Apni Salary Lene Kyun Nahin Aaye?
Stud, Badi Hairaani Se: KYA..!!!? Salary Bhi Milegi...!

Santa was looking at name plate of an air hostess above her left breast: KOMAL !
With lots of confusion he asked: Doosra Waala KADAK Hai Kya?

           

My First Time...
Do Ladkiyaan Aapas Mein Ek-Dusre Se Baatein Kar Rahi Thi.

Pehli: Kal Mera First Time Tha.

Dusri: Oh Really, Kya Hua?

Pehli: Shuru Mein Dheere-Dheere Andar Liya Aur Dheere Se Bahar Nikaala.

Dusri: Dheere Se Kyun?

Pehli: Unhone Bataya Tha, Pehle Dheere-Dheere Karna Hai.

Dusri: Theek Hai, Phir? Pahli: Pehle 10 Minute Tak Aise Hi Kiya, Badi Mushkil Hui Kaabu Karne Mein.

Dusri: Uske Baad Kya Hua?

Pahli: Phir Thoda Teji Se Liya, Phir Aur Tej... Phir Aur Tez.

Dusri: Hmmmmmm Phir, Pihir Kya Hua?

Pehli: Phir Jhatke Se Andar Leti Gayi, Aur Jhatke Se Bahar Nikaalti Gayi.

Dusri: Oh My God.

Pehli: Saare Room Mein Aawaaz Goonjne Lagi, Kaafi Der Tak Kiya, Teji Se Lete Aur Bahar Nikaalte Hue Dard Bhi Shuru Ho Gaya Tha.

Dusri: Aage Bataaaa, Phir Kya Hua.

Pehli: Bas Yaar Mere Yoga Teacher Ne Kaha Aise Hi Pranayaam Mein Apne Saans Ko Kaabu Karo, Anand Aayega.